I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
