I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
