Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
from now on my penis is your penis
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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