I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I love having hate sex.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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