a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
