anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Is Oprah even human
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
