but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
