i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
