Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
