just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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