Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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