I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
