Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
You took a bar mat shot.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
