Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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