dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
party gras won. party gras always wins.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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