I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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