Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
