Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
