Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
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