I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Enjoy the penises
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Randomize
