am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
