The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
