As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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