you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Randomize
