just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
