so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
