I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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