better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Randomize
