"it" just moved
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Randomize
