She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
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