We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
