Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
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