where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
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