Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
