thus making me awesome and them whores
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
