I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
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