i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
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