I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
