No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
