he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
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well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
