Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
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