Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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