Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
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