i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
