All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
