so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
