I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Randomize
