whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
