insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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