it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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