i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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