chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
