this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
